In yesterday's NY Times there was an article and related "Well Blog" entry on separating from toxic parents.
The comments on the blog are now at 500+ entries. It's amazing how many people eat their young. I've found reading the blog comments to be very ... comforting? liberating? I think the thing that's blowing everyone's mind is to see this discussed out in the open. Sure we've talked about it with our friends and to our therapists and possibly other family members ... but in so many cases the Keeping Up Appearances is so entwined with the abuse/neglect that the child questions their judgment about whether what's going on is actually wrong. I call it being down the rabbit hole. If everyone says your parents are great, why is your experience so different? If wrong is your normal, how are you supposed to know what's what? I haven't chimed in on the Times comments (yet), but it's great to see so many people standing up for themselves and their healthier futures.